Telling yourself you can't do something? Not so fast!

Have you ever had a goal you want to achieve, but then stop yourself because you think accomplishing that goal will be at the expense of something else?

Here is what it looks like either said out loud, or in internal monologue. 

I would love to do ___________ but if I do, then I can’t ___________.

This is what is referred to as Yes-But Thinking. 

It is true, your time and energy can only be spent in so many places.  If you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.  The question is – are you spending your time on the things that are really important to you? 

Oftentimes I see that there are goals, projects or a dream that someone will have but they dismiss it very quickly due to Yes-But Thinking.

Not so fast!  Before you dismiss something that is important to you, here are a few things you can do to change it to Yes-And Thinking.

Assess the importance.  How important is this goal, project or dream to you and why? Which of these three categories does it fit in: 1) Others are expecting me to do it, 2) I would like to do it, 3) I would love to do it, 4) This is something I need to do before I die. 

The higher the number, the more meaning it may have for you, so giving it extra consideration is important.  By the way, if it is a 1, you may want to consider crossing it off your list entirely. And reassess what it is you really want in your life.

Visualize what Yes-And looks like.  Write it down.  Let’s play a game.  We are sitting here a year from now and you were able to do both things.  How did you make that happen? Oftentimes we dismiss our ability to be able to do something without strategizing it through completely.  Visualization is a strong tool to help you see accomplishment and get past mental roadblocks that may be in your way.

Use extra tools.  When using Yes-And Thinking, use all the strategic tools available.  What can you delegate?  What can you stop doing?  What could you ask for help with?  What do you need to change your expectations of to make room for what you really want? 

Create a plan.  Now that you can visualize how this can happen, create your plan.  What do you need to do to get there?  What timeframe can you set that makes it possible?  I find even working 10 minutes a day toward a goal can be satisfying.

Remind yourself often.  Once you have the Yes-And picture, it is easy to forget it.  Life gets busy and other distractions get in the way.  It is easy to fall back into patterns that are comfortable to us, rather than making Yes-And changes.  Read your plan often, put it in your mirror.  Whatever it takes to remind you that it is possible.

You have probably heard the saying; you can’t have it all.  However, you can put your focus, time and energy on the things that are really important to you at this moment.  So, maybe you can.  And Yes-And will help you get there.