Listening to Yourself - Creating Your Own Happiness
This week, I went in search of mums for my front doorstep. Apparently, I am doing this directly in between blooming mum shipments, because there were no colors besides the green of future blossoms. I went to three different stores, becoming anxious and rather grouchy. Then I had to ask myself – why have mums become so important? What ignited my obsession with mums?
The mum search started because I am having a small working group at my house this week. I wanted my house to look welcoming. I started to tell myself all the things that weren’t right about my house for this meeting. At some point, the importance of what was inside my home was overshadowed by the need to perfect my surroundings. In fact, I ultimately forgot that I am a welcoming person, therefore my house will be welcoming, whether I have blooming mums or not.
Inside out vs. outside in
The number one thing I work with most clients on is getting back in touch with your internal self. We all were born with an internal compass – a knowing, a guide, to provide us direction, and yet we listen more to outside forces (our parents, what we read, media, suggestions from others) before we will tap into this internal knowing we all were born with. This internal knowing is confidence. The more we get away from it, the less confident we are. The less confident we are, the more unhappy we are.
I know this because for a long time, I didn’t listen to what was inside of me. I operated more by thinking about how I looked to others, how I conformed, and how I did things that others wanted me to do. In my job, I was uncomfortable with doing something too outside the norm. The real power is in recognizing that and being who you were born to be. True visionaries don’t conform.
There are ways I have learned to help with this:
Recognizing when I was making decisions in work or life based on what others wanted me to do rather than what I felt was best
Gaining information (from others or educational sources), but then tapping into the knowing part of me about what was the next best step forward
Meditating and journaling to get in a habit of listening to what I know to be true
Asking myself, “What is my gut feeling on this?” and “What if I am already prepared and have everything I need?”
Saying no to things I don’t want to do (This one is important! For more guidance, visit my past blog post at https://www.k8co.com/blog/the-power-of-a-no)
The ultimate goal in our jobs and life is to use the talents we have and to create meaning that fulfills us. Do I, at times, conform or do something I don’t necessarily want to do for other reasons – to help someone else, to belong, or to make money/satisfy a boss? Absolutely. But now I recognize the difference, and I work towards tapping into my internal self first. The more I do this, the happier and more fulfilled I am. I remind myself - I am smart, I am enough, and this is the true power of me and what I bring to the world.
Whether my mums look like they are blooming or not.