The Solution to Impatience - Recognizing "B to Y"
Impatience is a theme with many of my clients lately - impatience with wanting business deals to move faster…impatience with isolation and wanting it over…impatience with other people. We most certainly have all become impatient at some point in our lives, typically when we have a lot of ideas and want to move quickly with something. However, I have learned that there is value to be gained during this time of waiting, if we know how to recognize it.
Impatience happens when I want to move from the point I am at, Point A, and get to the end, Point Z, quickly. I just want it to happen – and to skip all the points in between, Points B to Y. Or, it could be that I am already at Point Z, and I am impatient that someone else is not there with me.
When this happens, there are some reminders I like to utilize:
Trust the process. This is a big one for me. Right now, I am writing a book and it is hard! I just want it to be done and skip all the work in between. It is taking me longer than I would like, so I remind myself there are invaluable things I’m learning from “B to Y”. This is also true when I am waiting for others to make a decision and move forward on something that impacts me. In the case of my book writing, I am finding that new concepts are coming to me that will be beneficial to readers as my process is unfolding, which makes the "B to Y" wait completely worth it.
Breadcrumbs. This comes in handy when teaching others. Yes, this is a reference to Hansel and Gretel leaving a trail of breadcrumbs through the woods so they could find their way. When I find I am impatient with others, it is usually because I have gone to Point Z, but maybe haven’t given them breadcrumbs to understand how I got to “Z”, or maybe haven’t allowed them time to spread their own breadcrumbs to get there. It is a great reminder that people work in different ways.
Here are some questions that are helpful when it comes to impatience:
What have I learned about myself in this process today?
What is beneficial about having more time in which this process is taking place?
What is beneficial about waiting for others to go through their process?
At what point does it make sense for me to allow a process to unfold, but then check on progress?
I have come to realize that “B to Y” is where most of my growth is and yet is the part that I want to skip. Just like working out and developing muscles, the B to Y place is where muscles are being strengthened to help me be stronger for the activity to come. Yet, if I don’t take time to recognize it, I don’t know it is happening. Being aware of this place can help to reduce my impatience and help me to cultivate what counts as I move patiently to the next steps.