The Opposite of Fear is Not Courage
This week I was reminded of how much fear plays a part in my life. Here are some of the fears that caused me to worry:
Did I get assets to a client fast enough for them?
If I take on another project, am I allocating my time appropriately?
My daughter has a cold. Is it COVID?
This list could go on. Normally when thinking of fear and how to move past it, I think of courage or bravery. What has helped me more is thinking of the opposite of fear is freedom.
The reason this works for me is because courage implies a stiffness and a rigidness. I picture myself with straighter posture, a lifted chin and sometimes armor while I go into battle. I tell myself to force my way into, or through, a situation to get past my fear. There are times this may be needed, but I find that way of thinking causes me to be tense and exhausted.
Instead I think of freedom. Here are some questions I ask myself, depending on the situation:
What do I care about that this fear is indicating to me?
If I have the freedom to let go of worrying about something I can’t control, what would that be like?
If I were free to only think of positive about myself in this situation, what would they be?
If I would apply freedom and fun into the situation, what do I need to let go of?
If I am free from worry or self-doubt to take the next best step, what would that be?
If I were free from the expectations that I think others have of me, how would that change what I do?
What positive experience have I had at times when I felt free to try something new?
If I am free from thinking several steps ahead, and just take the next best step in this moment, and just take the next best step in this moment, what would that be?
It is human to have fears, and a fear is an indicator you really care about something.
External pressures from others, expectations I have on myself, or my desire to control things create fear in my life. Giving myself permission to be free from these allows me the opportunity to relax and grow self-trust. It puts in perspective choices I can make to live my life in a more positive, fulfilling, and happier way.