Does "Finish What You Start" hold you back?
A client dilemma resonated with me this week as she was stuck on a work project. She said she didn’t want to start this project because she typically doesn’t finish things.
This made me think of the sewing machine I just bought… and I don’t sew. I want to learn though. I hesitated with the purchase because it comes in a long line of things I want to try, some of which I haven’t continued with.
This is something I hear often with high achievers. We have been taught to finish what we start.
A typical trait of high achievers is that they are experiential learners and want to try new things for themselves. Because of this, traditional learning environments can be challenging. For instance, I was not a great student but I once figured out how to replace my own car battery by reading about it on the Internet.
I asked my client,
What if, instead of not finishing things,
you are smart and decide what to continue with, and what to not?
There are many benefits in this way of thinking:
Fearlessness to try new things
Resourcefulness to figure things out
A constant curiosity for learning
Determining new ways to do things
Discovering new talents to use moving forward
Discovering what doesn’t bring joy
Is this you? Here are some things you can do to help you move forward when you see “not finishing” as something that holds you back.
What things have you started and continued with? Make a list. Oftentimes, this gets overlooked.
Reroute the thought. When the thought of not finishing things stops me from starting, what can I replace that with that helps me? For instance, change “I never finish” to “I choose to try new things” or “I choose to be curious”.
Determine the next best step to move forward on the project.
Let go of any expectation of outcome. I know this is counterintuitive, but high achievers can spend time investigating the 100 next steps, become overwhelmed, and stop before they get started. Know your goal, why it is important to you and then concentrate on one step at a time.
Make a conscious choice of stopping, if that’s what you determine is best. There is a difference between things getting hard and stopping or things you are giving yourself permission to stop. Determine what that difference is.
We all have gifts we were given at birth to use and contribute to the world. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a manual to tell us exactly what this is? Life is the exploration and the writing of this self-manual. Trying different things is a piece of this to be celebrated.
For me, I determined auto repair wasn’t in my future when I dropped the wrench into the car engine and it took me a while to get it out. Learning to sew may be a different outcome. I look forward to finding out!